Season One of Poly Pages is reading Hardy, J. W., & Easton, D. (2017). The ethical slut: A practical guide to polyamory, open relationships and other freedoms in sex and love (3rd ed.). Berkeley, CA, CA: Ten Speed Press.
Claire and Sebastian dive into Part Two of the Ethical Slut, and in Chapter 8 we tackle Abundance. There is more than you need! Unpacking the imagined fear of starvation, we find that sex, love, friendship and support are probably never going run out if we all just chill a little bit. When talking about finite resources such as time, money, space and stuff, we offer some helpful anecdotes about how to navigate and overcome those limitations. And what about sex? The biological limitations of our bodies require us to rework our definition of sex and intimacy. We finish up with our snapshot of the Oneida Community - an original hub of abundant love, support and nurturing.
Show notes The quote from Lynne Twist is taken from her book – The Soul of Money: Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Life, which is reviewed on goodreads.com here. Recommended reading for attachment theory: Understanding Attachment and Attachment Disorders: Theory, Evidence and Practice in Child and Adolescent Mental Health (by Vivien Prior and Danya Glaser, 2006) on Amazon here. NRE is explained wonderfully in the Probably Poly Podcast episode 29. Tips for safely sharing sex toys can be found here, courtesy of Refinery29.com On the folly of orgasm-centred loving, check out Humans In Love Podcast, episode 3. A beginning to understanding sex after PTSD check out Wear Your Voice. You can check out Oneida House here.
0 Comments
Claire and Sebastian connect long distance to discuss the many different ways we relate to one another. From monkish celibacy to orgies to multiple life partners, there are so many way to practice intentional relationships it's almost overwhelming. But Claire and Sebastian still find something missing and talk about political anarchy, metamours and the relationship escalator. This episode was our first recorded long-distance with Claire in Cambridge, UK and Sebastian still stateside.
Show Notes: The relationship between Kiney’s infamous ‘X’ category to modern day asexuality is explore by Justin J. Lehmiller (2017) by the The Psychology of Human Sexuality. John Wiley & Sons. Asexual flag as per the Asexual Visibility and Education Network found here. Also see the Trevor Project here. We will not give airtime to discussing this particular sub-section of celibate persons given the recent terror attacks on women. We recommend episode 120 of the podcast Reply All, which cover the history of the ‘InvCEL’ or ‘InCEL’ community. Relationship Anarchy was introduced by Andie Nordgren as a political manifesto. See here. It was also used in 2010 Open Con and in 2013 by Dr Meg-John Barker in her lecture ‘Rewriting the Rules: Non/monogamies’. Solo-poly is outlined well in an article by Polyamory Today on Medium, written by Shannon Ashley and available here. Poly Wanna Podcast discuss the Relationship Escalator in episode 14. For more on the difference between Prescriptive and Descriptive Hierarchy see this fun post by Chelsey Dagger on Polyfor.us Metamour is introduced by Polyamory School on Medium and can be found here.
Season One of Poly Pages is reading Hardy, J. W., & Easton, D. (2017). The ethical slut: A practical guide to polyamory, open relationships and other freedoms in sex and love (3rd ed.). Berkeley, CA, CA: Ten Speed Press.
Season One of Poly Pages is reading Hardy, J. W., & Easton, D. (2017). The ethical slut: A practical guide to polyamory, open relationships and other freedoms in sex and love (3rd ed.). Berkeley, CA, CA: Ten Speed Press.
**Trigger warning: In this episode we discuss consent in depth as well as violations of consent and different types of trauma. If this is something you aren’t comfortable hearing or thinking about, please don’t listen to this episode. Know that you are not alone, it will get better, and we love you. **
How can we build an intentional culture of consent? In Episode 6, Claire and Sebastian examine some of the barriers to and benefits of building just such a culture. This chapter examines consent not only from the perspective of polyamorous relationships, but also for any relationships and more broadly how to build a community culture of consent. Next, we discuss common reactions to breaches consent and why these are both unproductive and often damaging. Finally, the chapter explores the specific implications of a culture of consent on polyamory and we talk about how to encourage a consenting and open culture. The chapter ends with a vignette on love “Clean love is love without expectation.” Show notes: Claire’s suggested guides and readings to help with trauma: Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation: Skills Training for Patients and Therapists, by Suzette Boon, Onno van der Hart, Kathy Steele Trust After Trauma - A Guide to Relationships for Survivors and Those Who Love Them, by Aphrodite T. Matsakis Evicting The Perpetrator: A Male Survivor’s Guide for Recovery from Childhood Sexual Abuse, by Ken Singer Overcoming Trauma and PTSD - A Workbook Integrating Skills from ACT, DBT, and CBT, by Sheela Raja You can find iSurvivor by Wondery here. Learn more about restorative justice in high schools in this article and this report by the WestEd Justice and Prevention Resource Center. This recent article about Aziz Ansari talks about what happened and where it is at now. Aziz also talks about the situation in his recent Netflix special 'Right Now.'
In Episode 5, Claire and Sebastian enumerate the multiple barriers to safe, positive sexual and romantic relationships. From the lack of legal support for consensual, multiple partner living to the shame we carry inside ourselves. From lack of access to comprehensive family planning, to cultural norms that slut shame and victim blame. It's a cruel world out there. This chapter concludes by discussing Easton and Hardy's through experiment - if sex workers were judged like any other workers - and explain the differences between decriminalization and legalization.
This chapter is prefaced by the end of Episode 4 - a spotlight on Black and Poly (can be visited here). Show Notes Crystal (@crystalbfarmer) was interviewed on the NNM podcast (episode 38) which you can listen to here. Polyam sub-reddit can be accessed here. This edition of the Ethical Slut is informed by Dylan Miles Esq, mediation and family lawyer who can be found here (although he is not at the time of release, taking on new clients). For DIY legal documents, the publishing company NOLO press. If you are a lawyer or legal academic able and willing to give advise, be featured on a guest episode, or wishing to expand or correct anything we have said on this episode please contact us on polypages@gmail.com. If you are a sex worker, former or current, and are able and willing to give advise, be featured on a guest episode, or wishing to expand or correct anything we have said on this episode please contact us on polypages@gmail.com. We expand on types of CNM in Episode 7 – Slut Styles. Disclaimer – the thought experiment at the end of the episode is led from the chapter and regarding sex work. We acknowledge our language is not politically correct in parts of this and promise this does not come from a place of judgement, hate or disrespect (obviously). Season One of Poly Pages is reading Hardy, J. W., & Easton, D. (2017). The ethical slut: A practical guide to polyamory, open relationships and other freedoms in sex and love (3rd ed.). Berkeley, CA, CA: Ten Speed Press.
Back at it, Sebastian and Claire are still together in Boston because Claire has missed her flight! They talk about all the ways 'sluthood' has been expressed through the ages, and in different subcultures, and in the end, we feel less alone in our difference. We talk about being queer, coming out, and skillfully avoid explaining what pegging is whilst at the same time basically explaining to you what pegging is.
Show Notes Wild Wild Country is a Netflix documentary series about the ‘guru’ behind the Rajneeshpuram community located in Wasco County, Oregon, and was release on Netflix in March 2018. The Indiewire overview can be read here. Peter Tupper, A Lover's Pinch: A Cultural History of Sadomasochism. Rowman & Littlefield, August 10, 2018. The author was interviewed by Sluts and Scholars in episode 80 available here. Peter also runs his own website called a History of BDSM. Sebastian references Terry Gould, The Lifestyle: a look at the erotic rites of swingers. (Vintage Canada, November 23, 1999.) However, has referred to the wrong war (Vietnam not WWII). Allure offers a wonderful article on pegging your man, which you can find here. And for those that want to learn how, check out the Pegging 101 live webinar (22 Aug 2019) by Luna Matatas (get tickets here) or ask at your local adult toy store. Claire was interviewed further on the theme of polyam cross-cultural dating by the Normalizing Non-Monogamy podcast (episode 66) which you can listen to here. Black and Poly can be visited here and is explored more in the next episode. Season One of Poly Pages is reading Hardy, J. W., & Easton, D. (2017). The ethical slut: A practical guide to polyamory, open relationships and other freedoms in sex and love (3rd ed.). Berkeley, CA, CA: Ten Speed Press.
Join genuine poly pair, Claire and Sebastian as they critically read the Ethical Slut by Janet W Hardy and Dossie Easton. In chapter 3, Our Beliefs we get into the values at the core of polyam and non mono culture, disagree on the definition of sex and talk about what listeners can expect from future episodes. Unabridged and explicit.
Show Notes: The referenced interview with Christopher Smith was on Normalizing Non-Monogamy podcast (episode 48). Calendar sharing has been covered by Jezebel and Daily Dot, as well as a lot of personal blogs. Season One of Poly Pages is reading Hardy, J. W., & Easton, D. (2017). The ethical slut: A practical guide to polyamory, open relationships and other freedoms in sex and love (3rd ed.). Berkeley, CA, CA: Ten Speed Press.
Genuine poly couple, Sebastian and Claire, take you through a close and critical reading of The Ethical Slut, by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton. In this unabridged episode we dive into the details of Chapter Two: Myths and Realities. Both in Boston, Claire still can't pronounce 'Dossie', and Sebastian comments on being queer.
Some spoilers on Parks and Rec, American Horror Story, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Magicians, Orange is the New Black, and House of Cards. Show Notes: For more on Victorian Porn, the seminal original work on this was done by Henry Spencer Ashbee, whose enclyclopedia of sex is digitized by Oxford University, and can be found here. Also see Davis, Tracy C. (1989). "Sexual Language in Victorian Society and Theatre" in The American Journal of Semiotics. The Long Way to A Small Angry Planet by Becky Chambers can be reviewed here on goodreads. On Newt Gringrich not being polyam, from the wonderful Poly Weekly. Future Sex by Emily Witt can be reviewed here on goodreads. Season One of Poly Pages is reading Hardy, J. W., & Easton, D. (2017). The ethical slut: A practical guide to polyamory, open relationships and other freedoms in sex and love (3rd ed.). Berkeley, CA, CA: Ten Speed Press.
Sebastian and Claire embark on The Ethical Slut by Janet W Hardy and Dossie Easton. In Chapter 1; Who is an Ethical Slut, we talk through the intro to this edition, language and Kinsey style rebellion.
Show Notes: The Making It Work Podcast interviewed Dossie Easton in Nov 2014 (episode 13). Find on Stitcher here. The Kinsey Institute can be found here. Season One of Poly Pages is reading Hardy, J. W., & Easton, D. (2017). The ethical slut: A practical guide to polyamory, open relationships and other freedoms in sex and love (3rd ed.). Berkeley, CA, CA: Ten Speed Press. |
|